jokes

[limau]

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.

A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said," You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters:

WW, WA, PP, and a red one labelled ATR.

Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist.

He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, h e pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flowers to this unbelievable pleasure.

The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him. "What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I
remember was pushing the ATR button.

The nurse explained: "The button marked ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is in the jar on your table."

 

[limau]

Nelson Mandela is relaxing at home when there's a knock at the door. He opens it to see a truck full of datsun windscreens and a small japanese man with a clip board jumping up and down saying "You sign, you sign!". Nelson says that he does not want these and that he must have the wrong address and closes the door.

The next day there's a knock at the door, and the same japanese man with his clipboard is there with a truck full of Infiniti radiators. "You sign, you sign!". Again, Nelson sends the man on his way.

The next day it happens again and Nelson opens the door to the little japanese man who is still demanding a signature, this time for a load of primera silencers. By this point Nelson is getting tired of this and says "You've got the wrong address... who are you trying to deliver these to?"

The japanese man looks at his clipboard and looks up at Nelson and says...








"You not Nissan Main Dealer?"

 

[facelift]

LOL.. the second is good. :)

 

[alien]

agree... nissan main dealer.. =)

 

[zephyr3d]

Nelson Mandela is relaxing at home when there's a knock at the door. He opens it to see a truck full of datsun windscreens and a small japanese man with a clip board jumping up and down saying "You sign, you sign!". Nelson says that he does not want these and that he must have the wrong address and closes the door.

The next day there's a knock at the door, and the same japanese man with his clipboard is there with a truck full of Infiniti radiators. "You sign, you sign!". Again, Nelson sends the man on his way.

The next day it happens again and Nelson opens the door to the little japanese man who is still demanding a signature, this time for a load of primera silencers. By this point Nelson is getting tired of this and says "You've got the wrong address... who are you trying to deliver these to?"

The japanese man looks at his clipboard and looks up at Nelson and says...








"You not Nissan Main Dealer?"

har har har.... yea man.. 2nd joke is darn funny

 

[alantan]

the first one is painful

 

[nicteh]

BOth also i like, damm funny lar...Hah!

 

[SkYwAlKeR]

Doraemon and Hello Kitty were out on the streets one day.

When Doraemon saw Hello Kitty, he waved and greeted her, "Hello Kitty!"

Hello Kitty, however, didn't greet him in return. Why didn't she?

(She didn't have a mouth.)

Now, she was feeling pretty bad about appearing rude,
so she stitched a mouth on herself and went off to look for Doraemon.

When she saw him, she greeted him enthusiastically.

Doraemon, however, ignored her.

Why didn't he acknowledge her greeting?

(He couldn't hear her - he didn't have ears.)

Wahahahaha !

 

[SkYwAlKeR]

*this is not a joke*

can you read this?


Olny srmat poelpe can.

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

 

[dericlee]

wow...really amazing....i really can read them...lol

 

[infernaL]

ROFL I READ THE WHOLE THING SMOOTHLY! amazing stuff

and the 3 jokes before that was good

 

[rollakid]

yaeh i raed aubot it smohweere bfeore, rlelay azmae me lsat tmie. mbaye we ZTHians sulohd satrt tpynig lkie tihs so the fuorm so olny inetleignt poelpe wlil hnag out hree, and no mroe n00b kybearod wraroir :D

*god damn its so hard to type like this...*

 

[limau]

:p .......................

 

[bmw_m3]

hahaha jokes where funny..

 

[Agl]

A friends of mine sending this to me, hope u guys like it.


A Chinese walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Taiwan on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese hands over the keys to a new Ferrari which parked on the street just in front of the bank.

He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Chinese replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

 

[act7656]

haha, tats chinese ...

 

[Agl]

It just a logical thinking....:stupido:

 

[alien]

damn farneeee laaa..
the picture's funny too..
hahahaa..

 

[No47]

waliao, dam funny laaa
get MORE!!!!
wakakakaka