ROTFLMFAO! 
1. Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his
18
friends ?
Because below 18 not allowed Lah !
2. Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a
shop.
Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?".
Salesgirl : "Yes !".
Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please".
3. Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a
job. He supplied
the
information for the columns on Name, Age,
Address etc. Then he
comes to
column on "Salary Expected", he is not sure of the
question. After
much
thought, he writes "Yes".
4. Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny
object.
Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?".
Salesgirl : "That is a
thermos
flask".
Ah Beng : "What does it do ?". Salesgirl : "It
keeps
hot things hot
and
cold things
cold".
Ah Beng : "I'll buy it".
The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his
thermo flask.
Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"
Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask." Boss : "What
does it do ?"
Ah Beng :"It keeps hot things hot and cold
things cold"
Boss : "What do you have in it !?"
Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice
cream"
5. After taking photocopies of documents, Ah
Beng
always compares
it with
the original for spelling mistakes.
6. Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms
because he thinks
his
picture is being taken.
7. Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
Because he can't find the number 11
(eleven) on the phone.
8. Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and
was using it. When he
encountered some problems. He decide to use
the 'Help' command
after some
tries. Soon after, he became very irritated
and called the computer
retailer
for support. Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for
help ah, but it's been over half an hour & still
nobody come and
help me Lah
?!"
9. Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked
him what
had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was
ironing a shirt
and the
phone ring Lah-but instead of picking up the
phone,
I
accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my
ear Lah". "Oh
dear!" the
doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ... what
happened to the other
ear ?" Ah
Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back
Lah !!!!"
10. Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone
operator.
Ah Beng : "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE
TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
TAIPEI AND
LAS VEGAS ?" Operator : "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah Beng : "THANK YOU "
and put down the phone.
11. After
completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on
for quite
some
time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished
puzzle to a friend.
"It took me
ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", AhBeng
brags. "FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO
LONG", the
friend exclaims. "YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng
replies, "SEE THIS BOX,
IT IS
WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS".
12. At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's
left
tells the
bartender,
"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE", and his
companion says, "JACK DANIELS,
SINGLE".
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks,
"AND YOU, SIR ?" Ah Beng replies : "Chi Ah
Beng, MARRIED
1. Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his
18
friends ?
Because below 18 not allowed Lah !
2. Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a
shop.
Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?".
Salesgirl : "Yes !".
Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please".
3. Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a
job. He supplied
the
information for the columns on Name, Age,
Address etc. Then he
comes to
column on "Salary Expected", he is not sure of the
question. After
much
thought, he writes "Yes".
4. Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny
object.
Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?".
Salesgirl : "That is a
thermos
flask".
Ah Beng : "What does it do ?". Salesgirl : "It
keeps
hot things hot
and
cold things
cold".
Ah Beng : "I'll buy it".
The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his
thermo flask.
Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"
Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask." Boss : "What
does it do ?"
Ah Beng :"It keeps hot things hot and cold
things cold"
Boss : "What do you have in it !?"
Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice
cream"
5. After taking photocopies of documents, Ah
Beng
always compares
it with
the original for spelling mistakes.
6. Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms
because he thinks
his
picture is being taken.
7. Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
Because he can't find the number 11
(eleven) on the phone.
8. Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and
was using it. When he
encountered some problems. He decide to use
the 'Help' command
after some
tries. Soon after, he became very irritated
and called the computer
retailer
for support. Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for
help ah, but it's been over half an hour & still
nobody come and
help me Lah
?!"
9. Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked
him what
had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was
ironing a shirt
and the
phone ring Lah-but instead of picking up the
phone,
I
accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my
ear Lah". "Oh
dear!" the
doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ... what
happened to the other
ear ?" Ah
Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back
Lah !!!!"
10. Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone
operator.
Ah Beng : "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE
TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
TAIPEI AND
LAS VEGAS ?" Operator : "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah Beng : "THANK YOU "
and put down the phone.
11. After
completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on
for quite
some
time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished
puzzle to a friend.
"It took me
ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", AhBeng
brags. "FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO
LONG", the
friend exclaims. "YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng
replies, "SEE THIS BOX,
IT IS
WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS".
12. At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's
left
tells the
bartender,
"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE", and his
companion says, "JACK DANIELS,
SINGLE".
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks,
"AND YOU, SIR ?" Ah Beng replies : "Chi Ah
Beng, MARRIED
